INXS FORTUNE

After their Rock Star TV series, INXS went on tour with a stop in town. This was my first experience shooting a “real” event, and it was at the local coliseum. That meant real security people, real media people, and a real challenge.

Traditionally, as I would find out, media are ushered in moments before the show starts, and are restricted in what they can shoot. For this event, I was allowed the first minute of the first two songs. That’s OK by me. I’d fill out the feature with some person on the street interviews. No problem.

The street interviews also solved my other concern: Would I be interviewing the actual band? What would I ask them? What would YOU ask them? I wanted to ask if Fortune was JD’s real last name, or a stage moniker, and, now that he is with an international mega band, would he consider changing it from Fortune to JD I’M-DOING-OK? Turns out ET Canada had the exclusive interview rights, even though they didn’t come to the show.

After filming on the street, I head to the security desk. Since this is still a new feature that the newspaper is branching into, there was a bit of confusion as to my being media PHOTO or media VIDEO. It was cleared up rather quickly. Adding to the confusion though was my lack of equipment. When the local TV stations cover events, they bring a large camera, and the necessary accessories. I arrived wearing a fanny pack that carried my MiniDV camera, tape and battery. And all that was hidden under my coat. It looked like I arrived with nothing.

About the timing issue: There was a media rep assigned to me that effectively was there to watch the time and tap me on the shoulder when time had expired. Good thing too, since I hadn’t brought a tripod, and would have to shoot the show from the back of the floor seats, holding the camera over my head as high as I could reach, and zooming in as tight as it would go.

These sorts of productions are very tight, media wise. While I didn’t see anyone telling the hundreds of flash camera users in the crowd to put it away, I told twice, “No Cameras” as I stood on the sidelines with a media rep and a big Green Press badge on my coat. When you are only allowed to tape the first minute of a song, you only get one take. I couldn’t stop and look at the guard. Fortunately, the rep beside me with the stopwatch waved the guard off. I’m not sure if you can hear him in the video or not. Thankfully, he didn’t put his hand in front of the camera.

Talk about learning on the job. And since the timer is on, and there is no do over, if you blow it, it’s blown. If you watch closely, you’ll notice that I actually start by filming a crew guy rolling up the dropped curtain instead of JD Fortune as the song begins.

Oops.

MONSTER BUSY

Back in September, my brother, my Dad and I went out to Saskatchewan for a wild weekend at the One Red Paperclip Housewarming party. As some of you may rememeber, I shot a video of the trip for submission to the local newspaper for their website.

That little video has turned into an adventure and, dare I say it, a part-time hobby job. The Editor of the web department has offered me many kind words and has extended me more and more opportunities to not only represent the newspaper in the community, but also to shoot and edit my own short features for posting.

While posting these videos will certainly expose any remaining anonymity to you the blog strangers, I suspect that those of you that still visit once in a while may already know more than I think you do. So be it.

Over the next few posts, I'll bring you the videos I've been shooting. The picture at the top of the post will link you to the video, which is currently archived on the newspapers website. i could post them to youtube, but when I submit them to the paper, they have final approval and edit, and they, in turn , add the credits to the feature. Sometimes they even spell my name right!

It's been great to see these videos featured in a little paragraph in the paper each time as well, listing me as a host or producer. It's a fun project, and I hope you enjoy some of these interest pieces.

The first one, posted here, is from the Monster Jam show that came through town last November. Frank, driver of Blue Thunder, was out on the corner meeting fans, and talking to media. Frank was a great interview, and shared an understanding that it is the ticket buying fan that keeps the sport of Monster Trucks viable.

This one was shot by a camera man from the newspaper, and he commented at the end of the shoot that he had never shot one in one take before. Not that I don't make mistakes, but I certainly don't stop unless it's a terrible mess. Even then, the editing suite can be good enough to fix those.

TWO BAGS OF POTATOES IN JANUARY

Can you believe it? One month, and 20 pounds gone already. The start of this story is in the post below.

It's a lofty goal, and it's not "easy", but other than being grumpy when I'm hungry, it's been very rewarding.

I expected to be able to lose 2 lbs per week which have put the weight loss goal somewhere around the end of April. I've been averaging 4.8 pounds per week. Could I complete the 40 pounds before the end of Feb?

Anyone want to make it interesting? I'll look for your wagers in the comments section.

And if anyone is concerned about the rapid weight loss, or how I'm doing it, drop me an email. I'm happy to talk about it. When I'm not hungry...

NEW YEARS RESOLVE

It's time again to resolve to lose weight. This silly ticker is going to keep track for me, and be the official measurement tool for the incentives laid out at home.

Incentives, you say? Yes. Here's the story as best as I can relate it to you, my strange visitors at this nearly defunct blog.

When I met Z, I was 18 years old. She thought I was tall, dark and handsome. She's also half blind, so I fooled her on the handsome part. But then, as Meat Loaf would say, "Two outta three ain't bad."

Over the many years that we've now known each other, I have put on weight. My argument for years was that when I met Z I was still finishing puberty. Come on. At 18, I wasn't finished filling in as a man. Or at least my scrawny too tall body was hoping I hadn't finished filling out.

But fill out I have, but in all the wrong places. And it's now hard for me to continue that argument. I've clearly finished puberty, and I'm still filling out. So the race is on.

It wasn't really MY choice. While I will acknowledge that I do need to lose a few pounds, it was made clear to me that I hold a double standard in my house. Z takes great care of herself to be the little hottie that she is for her dazzling husband, but I have not kept up my "eye-candy" physique.

Sure, she'll still love me no matter what I look like, but I feel like I've been letting her down. So, with that in mind, I decided to make a serious attempt at weight loss. And it's off to a smashing start.

But since I'm really losing the weight for Z, I asked her to incite me to lose weight. Give me something to strive for. Z came up with an incentive plan that includes a treat or trinket at each 5lb interval I am able to surpass. It might be hockey tickets. It might be a night way. Who knows? Well you, that's who. I'll never tell!

I have had a steady stream of support from those kind readers that pop over here once in a while, I'm turning to you again for your supportive messages. I'll be reading those instead of running to the vending machine for candy bars and soda pop.

The goal is 40 pounds. That's ambitious, and while it would be fantastic, I'm not going to cry myself to sleep if I only get to 35 pounds. In fact, I think Z secretly doesn't want me to get to THAT goal. The incentive is too good...

I hope that she gets to eat these words. I know I won't be eating my share for the next few months...

A PAPERCLIP FOR A HOUSE

Yes, I may be a little insane. But this is how I get my kicks.

I convinced (emphasis on CON) my brother to join me on a road trip. Where? Why, Kipling, Saskatchewan, of course.

Now Kipling may not sound like much if you live in Regina, but when traveling from an hour outside Toronto on Labour Day Weekend, it would be a bit of a haul. About a 5400 km (3356 miles) round trip kind of haul.

I approached a manager at our local newspaper that was launching a new website called Traveller. I told her my idea of driving 60+ hours round trip to Saskatchewan to check out the One Red Paperclip house. She was excited about the idea, and even offered help in procuring a vehicle. They branded my brother and me in official newspaper clothing, while sending us with a bag full of bling to trade along the way.

I’ll tell you more about the story later, but let’s start with the final video. Then you can ask questions, and I can blog about the stories behind those questions. Does anyone have any questions?

So, without further ado, please visit The Traveller on thespec.com to see my One Red Paperclip Trip video. The link will open in a new window.

I look forward to your comments.

SPEND LESS TO SAVE MONEY

I actually read the junk that is sent in the envelope with my bills. Sometimes I learn something.

Like with my natural gas bill. I received a brochure that had this gem in it. In case you can’t read the scan, it says:

The best way to insulate yourself from higher energy prices is to use less energy.

Insightful.




I have come up with some other gems of wisdom.

"The best way to save money is to spend less."

"The best way to be hungry is to eat less food."

"The best way to make a tank of gasoline go farther is to use your car less."

Thanks, natural gas company. But, if I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, wouldn’t lowering the rates be the best way for me to save a buck on energy prices?

You want me to buy less. I want to you to charge less. Either way, I will still have energy, and you will be getting less.

You should be happy.

YES! I CAN BE BOUGHT!

Don't expect me to post every day, you grubby beggers, you! But the squeaky wheel gets the oil, or the grease, or something slippery. And since I ranted last year about a percieved injustice, I will now reflect on the latest developments.

My life is so filled with irony sometimes...

This blog garnered a bit of a reputation when I posted my Father’s Day Bank Rant in June of 2005. At the time, my bank was offering free iPod shuffles to new customers, while shafting the existing customers with higher service fees. I was quite bothered by the whole promotion, eventually preparing myself to move all my banking away from them.

I had already done my homework with a couple of other banking institutions, laying the groundwork for my eventual transition. When dealing within a long term business relationship though, I wanted to give my bank one last chance to "save the business".

I went into the local branch, the one that offered my zilch when I complained asked about this promo last year, and approached the first personal banker willing to see my sour puss.

I was surprised at this particular banker. When I explained to her what I was doing, she didn’t frazzled by the pressure I put on her to be better than the competition. Her answers, while not necessarily "better" than the alternatives, were accommodating, and achieved the short term goals I was most interested in fixing.

Then came the clincher. She was wearing a lanyard that showed the latest iPod Nano promotion, with the words, "Ask Me How to Get Yours". Or something like that. I’m not quoting it. It’s probably copyrighted anyway.

I got my back up and complained rehashed explained the situation from last year, conveniently leaving out the information about posting it online and having it picked up by AdRants, a large advertising blog (Thanks for the traffic, Steve!) (Speaking of posting it online, does anyone have any idea what this blog was saying about me?)

She looked at me and stated emphatically, "You can get this!" She looked over my accounts, and in a more hushed tone, started to explain that if I opened an account somewhere else, put some money in it and came back to the branch with an account number, not only would I be eligible for a shuffle, I could get a nano if I upgraded my Visa card. Since I was being screwed out of my points on that card anyway, I had no hard feelings giving it, and it’s 19% interest rate, up.

To make a long, boring story short, I walked across the street, set up an account at the bank and returned with an account number.

I still have hard feelings about my bank as a whole (or is it a hole?), but I have found a new personal banker that makes me happy. Like I told the branch manager, as I was signing some papers later that week, "The woman in there just saved my business."

The Nano came in the mail yesterday. It rocks. By being patient I now have something way better, way cooler, and way fun.

Besides, if nothing else, I can repackage the Shuffle for Z on Mother's Day next year!

SAM ON A PHONE

I got a call on Thursday. It was from Samuel L. Jackson. Turns out, he wanted to tell me about a movie that may become, and I quote Sam, “the best motion picture ever made!”

Samuel L. Jackson, the movie actor from hits like Star Wars and The Incredibles, on the day of his big movie release, Snakes On A Plane, was making personalized phone calls to remind people to see his movie. It was really more of a threat actually, "Do as I say, and you live," I think he said.

I told him I would try to check it out, but it is rated R, and I’m afraid of snakes, so I doubt it. So I told Sam, “If nothing else, I’ll blog about it. How’s that?”

I think he may have said something about my mother or forks or both, but I’m sure he wasn’t being mean. That’s just our Sam.

If you want to ask Sam to call you or a friend about Snakes On A Plane, go on and click here.

Ya’ hear me?

SURPRISE! THIS BLOG STINKS

I've been mulling about a whole multitude of new blog posts in my head, but I never get around to posting anything. I'm sure this November I'll be posting stories from this past April.

To appease those people that still visit here, in hopes of a new post, SURPRISE! Here is a new post. Actually, it's more of an educational/teaching moment.

DID YOU KNOW: The men's room in the Hanover, Ontario Wal-Mart smells like Vanilla.

Well, at least it did when I went IN.

A TEA STEEPED IN IRONY

Let’s just ignore the fact that we haven’t talked in a long time and I’ll jump right into this post.

It seems I go through each day with the same routine. I get dressed in the same order. I eat pretty much the same breakfast, at about the same time. If I don’t eat at home, I get the exact same thing when I go to Tim Horton’s, which is a stop I make every single day. I get a tea: extra-large, with one milk, one sugar, steeped.

Today, I left something out of my routine. Something didn’t feel right. And as I stood at the counter of my local Tim’s, fishing through my pockets like an imbecile, I realized what I missed. I forgot to grab the change off my dresser, or as I will further call it, Morning Routine Step 6.

I go to my Tim’s so often that they know me and my order without my having to say anything. Long line-up? Someone slips a tea to me, and I quietly slip the change to them. One morning, I had a problem that two separate people saw me pull into my parking spot, and they both made me a tea. I bought both, and shared one with a friend at work.

But today was different. The counter staff was presenting me my tea, amidst the long line up of people crammed into the little foyer of a store front, and I had no money. What to do?

The girl looked at me and just said, “You’re here every day. We know where you work. You’ll be back tomorrow, just catch up with us then.”

I couldn’t believe it. I was being given a tab at Tim Horton’s.

Now, here comes the ironic part. As I finished my hot cup of steeped leaves, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny if this free cup won me something?” I have only one twice in the recent Roll up the Rim campaign. Very few stores have any cups available. Mine does. And I always lose. I stopped counting when I won once after in 19 cups. I was getting disappointed.

Here was my “free” cup, and wouldn’t you know it… it was a winner. The prize? One free drink.

Tomorrow, with proper change in hand, I can walk back into my Tim’s and turn over the winning tab.

Thanks Tim! I guess we'll call us even?

ONE RED PAPERCLIP: PATCH OFFER

I have an addiction. It’s called blogging. Granted, I’ve been able to overcome my addiction within my OWN blog, but I can’t get enough of others.

I used to stalk poor Jason Eaton. He was living the life I could only imagine. Jason is skilled at model making, with the time, money and magic to make things happen. He’s even visited the Skywalker Ranch, a dream that many nerds like me could only, well, dream of… I’m sure he’s doing fine, but I am not entirely sure. His blog now requires a password. I don’t think that was my fault entirely… I’ll just have to send in my email request, and wait for a reply. Start holding breath… NOW.

In the meantime, my new stalking victim is Kyle MacDonald over at One Red Paperclip. I wanted to post about this so many times over the months that’s I’ve been watching him, but he had so much exciting things going on, from CNN, CBC, CityTV, RocketBoom, and trips to LA and Yahk, I couldn’t figure out where to begin.

For those under an internet rock, Kyle decided to create a trading blog. His plan was to trade things for bigger and better things until he trades for a house. Starting with one red paperclip, Kyle has moved through a fish pen, door knob, coleman stove, generator, instant party, snowmobile, trip to Yahk, and a cube van. Now, Kyle sits on One Recording Contract with many offers to consider.

I don’t envy this decision. What do you choose to move up the trading ladder? The trades get more complex, and more expensive each time. His goal of completing the house trade by June is going to be tough.

I think this is an incredible chance for someone. I spoke with some of the local housing people I know to get them jones’ed about the idea. There will be a book. There has been international press coverage. There may be a movie in the works. There has even been the hypnotic George Stromolopolous!

What a perfect marketing opportunity for a Real Estate agent! They love to see their name and faces crop up on everything. Here is an investment in some wide reaching, long lasting marketing. Why, O why, don’t I have an extra house around? I would have traded that for the cube van, and used it to move people into THEIR new houses… What a tie-in. But what do I know?

All I want to do is trade something for an official One Red Paperclip patch. So, Kyle, here is the offer:

I work on another blog called Useless Advice from Useless Men. I considered offering free advice on a trading question with a link to your site. But I wanted to offer something better.

I'd be happy to trade an exclusive Useless Men shirt (I make each one by hand (actually, I just iron on a logo.) for a patch.

They are short sleeve Penman’s dress shirts (quality product) with your choice of colour available at my local WalMart. There is only one other shirt at this time. Mine. I can ship it to you, with a return envelope for your patch.

If you will accept my offer, you can simply reply with your shirt size in the comments below! It’s really that simple…

Oh… and the advice question is a standing offer. Anytime. Really, without those questions, we really are useless!

DAN OF GREEN GABLES

Speaking of other bloggers, did you know that the One Useless Brother has finally joined the hit parade?

I should introduce the new blog link I’ve added here. Always the last one picked, my brother, Dan of green Gables, has joined the blogosphere.

He will be replacing the void in my link bar that was left when my Useless Men co-founder, Happy And Blue, closed up blog. Which is only proper since I am Blue that he is no longer active online, but Happy for him in his newest, latest and greatest endeavors.

Dan's blog is a music-centric site reviewing the many, many, many, many, many CD’s that he currently has in his collection. Despite their import status, most of his crap collection is not what you would traditionally hear on commercial radio.

For a chance to expand your musical tastes, from KISS to the Trans Siberian Orchestra, with a little Jingle Cats for good measure, I introduce Psychotic Philosophy.

TURN DOWN THE MUSIC!

Kids these days...

In an effort to expand the minds of you, the loyal reader at JPTH, while I traipse the world fantastic trying to find a more useless place, I bring you Calvin from Singapore. That’s the International in JPTH International.

The last campaign saw 8 different people click on the little Rent This Blog feature. Can I get 10 this time? Can I? Will YOU click for me?

If you click on mine, I’ll click on yours. Deal or no deal?

BRING YOUR OWN CLEANING SUPPLIES

There is a new renter this week. It is the Full Metal Photographer. I like to post pictures in my blog, and this is a photo blog, and you are still reading, so go figure…

Last campaign had 10 clicks on the renter. I’m never going to make a lot of credits if only 10 people click through. Why not check it out? You can see pictures like the one above. Or like the one on the thumbnail. In fact, I’ll give a reward (read: Auto Show touque) to the person who can tell me in comments what the real picture is from that thumbnail. Of course, that’s going to require me doing some research, too. Multiple correct answers will be entered in a random draw from which I will randomly select the person that costs the least postage… or something like that.

I really have no idea what it is, so I hope I’m not causing anyone to go blind seeing something they shouldn’t. If it’s bad, I’m warning you, I’ll pull the lease on this so fast, it will make your head spin.

And no using a hot plate either!

CHEWY WHITENESS or WHY MY JAW HURTS

I don’t chew a lot of gum. Not my thing. Maybe it has to do with my baby teeth.

When making my impulse purchase of gum, I considered, do I just want fresh breath, or is there more to gum than that? Forget all the wacky flavours and the juicy fruits. I’m not in the 10th grade anymore. I wanted adult gum. And adult gum comes in with teeth whitening additives.

About every other day I’d chew a piece of gum to get my mind off, say, eating an entire pork roast . But after a few packs, I didn’t think my teeth were any whiter. That’s when I started to read the fine print.

Did you know that gum has FINE PRINT?

Trident claims it will whiten teeth and remove stains in 2 weeks. All you have to do is chew 2 pieces of gum 4 times a day for 20 minutes. Sounds easy. Surely, a one-dollar pack of gum has got to be cheaper than those teeth whitening kits. Let’s find out shall we?

The pack of gum holds 12 pieces, at a cost of $0.99, which would last a day and a half. You need to go for 14 days. So doing the math, 14 days multiplied by eight pieces per day is 112 pieces divided by 12 pieces per package is 9.33 packages (of course. Couldn’t be an even number of packages!) multiplied by the price… equals $9.99 plus tax.

It is cheaper! Teeth whitening kits could run anywhere around... ? Still, that seems like a lot of gum. I think I’ll just stick to brushing and flossing…